Questions are good things. They are there to get to know others and to find the common ground with each other, with the people we want to love. Well, I would think that the biggest thing I need to learn is to love myself. I think at least. I like lists, I make lists, mainly about anime and manga that I want to read and watch. And sometimes about American books too. My life does revolve around things that I consume. And I do not know if I am fine with that. I would like to fancy myself that I like philosophy, but in truth, I like the idea of philosophy. In the sense, philosophy means the love of knowledge, because we cannot know everything. So we need to start with things that we do not know, even though there are many famous figures in philosophy, I do not want to read from them. Because the biggest thing that I do not know if myself. And, as I am right now, I am more interested in filling the emptiness in me, if that makes sense. But I like questions. So, I went out and looked for que...
I'm not proud to admit that after living twenty+ years, my mind often wanders back to the time when I was a kid and had no problems in my life.
I had spent the three years of my college life in walking around the riverside with my twin, and often pointing out how much I envy the free time of the other kids, (see: teens) that cross our paths. I think that I am in agreement with him when I mention that all I want in life is just as much time as a teen has. In other words, I don't want to grow up. And I feel that I am selfish because of that. The water soothes me when I don't know what to do.
It is not like I had a life, maybe I never wanted one. As a kid, I had a hard time looking people in the eye, mainly because I didn't really bother to be interested or involved in other people's lives. And this hadn't changed. As a child, I could get away with it. And now I envy that quality of myself.
What I learned from after a few years of living is how to fear other people's opinions. And how to not have my own. I don't want to point fingers, I never really realized when I need to take back control. It seems that adults like puny kids without opinions and assertive opinionated adults. And there is a certain feeling of revenge that I get when I don't talk with others - maybe I am just a bad person.
I had spent the three years of my college life in walking around the riverside with my twin, and often pointing out how much I envy the free time of the other kids, (see: teens) that cross our paths. I think that I am in agreement with him when I mention that all I want in life is just as much time as a teen has. In other words, I don't want to grow up. And I feel that I am selfish because of that. The water soothes me when I don't know what to do.
It is not like I had a life, maybe I never wanted one. As a kid, I had a hard time looking people in the eye, mainly because I didn't really bother to be interested or involved in other people's lives. And this hadn't changed. As a child, I could get away with it. And now I envy that quality of myself.
What I learned from after a few years of living is how to fear other people's opinions. And how to not have my own. I don't want to point fingers, I never really realized when I need to take back control. It seems that adults like puny kids without opinions and assertive opinionated adults. And there is a certain feeling of revenge that I get when I don't talk with others - maybe I am just a bad person.
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