Questions are good things. They are there to get to know others and to find the common ground with each other, with the people we want to love. Well, I would think that the biggest thing I need to learn is to love myself. I think at least. I like lists, I make lists, mainly about anime and manga that I want to read and watch. And sometimes about American books too. My life does revolve around things that I consume. And I do not know if I am fine with that. I would like to fancy myself that I like philosophy, but in truth, I like the idea of philosophy. In the sense, philosophy means the love of knowledge, because we cannot know everything. So we need to start with things that we do not know, even though there are many famous figures in philosophy, I do not want to read from them. Because the biggest thing that I do not know if myself. And, as I am right now, I am more interested in filling the emptiness in me, if that makes sense. But I like questions. So, I went out and looked for que...
It is natural to feel lost in life or what you want to do. And it is again, easy to feel lost when you don't want to do anything. I hadn't really chosen to go to college, I knew that I could get a few more extra years getting my bachelors then masters degree could win me time. And that is a horrible attitude to have. However, I manage to have a few good things.
Recap of three years:
I had discovered that I have a gift for art. I am not a good graphic designer, more an autonomous artist, one that is more interested in aesthetics than contemporary conceptual art. That is maybe a good thing in this climate when it seems the concept is starting to get boring. Maybe combining the two things could be good for me in my future.
I had returned to anime and manga. Just to Japanese media in general.
I have a passion for subcultures.
I still don't like conversations and public speaking. I will never like it. I have gained a different kind of respect towards my teachers in my school and university years.
Realization:
I will disappoint a lot of people if I don't take an artistic career. And even though I am tempted to do something like that, but I am a little bit disgusted by the people who are making money from art. The institution is strange. There is no good way to make money from art - at least not something that would make me not feel slimy and I wouldn't need to work with people who I don't like.
This wasn't a waste of time, not really. Nothing you do can be a waste of time. Even if your attempts of living a laid back life is kicked left and right by everyone else.
Recap of three years:
I had discovered that I have a gift for art. I am not a good graphic designer, more an autonomous artist, one that is more interested in aesthetics than contemporary conceptual art. That is maybe a good thing in this climate when it seems the concept is starting to get boring. Maybe combining the two things could be good for me in my future.
I had returned to anime and manga. Just to Japanese media in general.
I have a passion for subcultures.
I still don't like conversations and public speaking. I will never like it. I have gained a different kind of respect towards my teachers in my school and university years.
Realization:
I will disappoint a lot of people if I don't take an artistic career. And even though I am tempted to do something like that, but I am a little bit disgusted by the people who are making money from art. The institution is strange. There is no good way to make money from art - at least not something that would make me not feel slimy and I wouldn't need to work with people who I don't like.
This wasn't a waste of time, not really. Nothing you do can be a waste of time. Even if your attempts of living a laid back life is kicked left and right by everyone else.
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