Questions are good things. They are there to get to know others and to find the common ground with each other, with the people we want to love. Well, I would think that the biggest thing I need to learn is to love myself. I think at least. I like lists, I make lists, mainly about anime and manga that I want to read and watch. And sometimes about American books too. My life does revolve around things that I consume. And I do not know if I am fine with that. I would like to fancy myself that I like philosophy, but in truth, I like the idea of philosophy. In the sense, philosophy means the love of knowledge, because we cannot know everything. So we need to start with things that we do not know, even though there are many famous figures in philosophy, I do not want to read from them. Because the biggest thing that I do not know if myself. And, as I am right now, I am more interested in filling the emptiness in me, if that makes sense. But I like questions. So, I went out and looked for que...
A snowless winter is really sad. I am usually used to snow, not too high and not to low, pilling up at the side of the road and slippery pavement. And snow falling in big pieces, sticking together and it is getting colder and colder. Now we have mist and fog. And the birds look miserable.
The snow is the best part of winter. Not because it is white or that it is covering the streets, but because something else is falling from the sky other than rain. And as someone who likes rain, liking snow is a must. I am happy that I can still be happy as a kid when the snow is falling. I feel young when winter is here, around spring I just feel old, the same around autumn. But those are the times to feel old, to think and to prepare so we can open ourselves to being young again. Winter is like that for me, this melancholic idiot likes nothing more than the falling snow around the evening and leaning close to the heat of the radiator.
The air is cold and chilly.
The atmosphere of winter doesn't come through, there is no snow, just cold air, and even though the heating is on, the warmth of the apartment building doesn't bring any satisfaction. Around winter, I like to take long baths at least once a week. Because something is satisfying about letting yourself have at least that little luxury between two episodes of self-hatred and trying to get away from responsibilities. Now, the winter long baths are filling me with guilt. Because the air is filled with guilt.
Things are just changing. And they are changing in a way that doesn't let us have the good things that we used to have. I don't want to think that I am the one who is being jaded and doesn't find happiness in the things that they had previously. I am not that old! I can't be that old! If I quit liking the winter baths, the soaking in the scolding water then I might as well die.
I feel bad about thinking like that.
I just hope the next winter will be better. I want spring to come along now and have a different kind of atmosphere. A different season comes with a different attitude, and this winter melancholy will pass... Even if this can't really be called winter melancholy anymore, not without the snow.
The snow is the best part of winter. Not because it is white or that it is covering the streets, but because something else is falling from the sky other than rain. And as someone who likes rain, liking snow is a must. I am happy that I can still be happy as a kid when the snow is falling. I feel young when winter is here, around spring I just feel old, the same around autumn. But those are the times to feel old, to think and to prepare so we can open ourselves to being young again. Winter is like that for me, this melancholic idiot likes nothing more than the falling snow around the evening and leaning close to the heat of the radiator.
The air is cold and chilly.
The atmosphere of winter doesn't come through, there is no snow, just cold air, and even though the heating is on, the warmth of the apartment building doesn't bring any satisfaction. Around winter, I like to take long baths at least once a week. Because something is satisfying about letting yourself have at least that little luxury between two episodes of self-hatred and trying to get away from responsibilities. Now, the winter long baths are filling me with guilt. Because the air is filled with guilt.
Things are just changing. And they are changing in a way that doesn't let us have the good things that we used to have. I don't want to think that I am the one who is being jaded and doesn't find happiness in the things that they had previously. I am not that old! I can't be that old! If I quit liking the winter baths, the soaking in the scolding water then I might as well die.
I feel bad about thinking like that.
I just hope the next winter will be better. I want spring to come along now and have a different kind of atmosphere. A different season comes with a different attitude, and this winter melancholy will pass... Even if this can't really be called winter melancholy anymore, not without the snow.
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